Just Keep Writing

I.

The sunset knows we don’t want the day to end. Not because today was a good day or anything. Today was far from unusual. The unusual thing is that we are just not quite ready to embrace tomorrow. That is why morning people wake up so early. The need for more time to prepare. Prepare for another day that seems all but subtle until you realize that it is the accumulation of those subtle days that creates the feelings we all run away from. Like that of regret.. the regret of not having completed anything significant in our subtle day. That is what the sunset understands about us.

II.

I want to teach my future kid

the littlest of things

like how sipping your coffee

will prevent a burnt tongue

III.

I remember you

like one who remembers

the smell of freshly cut wood

IV.

We do what we can, when we can.

When damaged we take anything.

Anything that diverges the insurmountable pain.

A restless mind at night awakes in panic,

but a medicated mind sleeps without distraction.

without it we are in constant thought

why did I say or do that?

Am I going in the right direction?

Who even said I was failing?

Rise and fall

this cycle goes.

Nowhere to go until someone comes along

and takes what little we have to give

and calms the storm

V.

As fall begins to reveal its dark colors in the sky, the chill and color of our personalities begin to resemble the atmosphere. I feel you caressing me lightly in my cheek as I remember you when I was a child. The child who was counseled by his brother’s friend, “youth is only here now. Don’t ask questions just have fun and run.” Fall fills me again with frightening chills of the future while flowers turn into a flat brown.

VI.

Slow down when you can. It takes a lot when a storm is in the midst. Nowhere to escape, but all we can do is wait for it to pass.

Are we really the person we want to be? Is anyone even completely satisfied? Some people would say so, but I think thy are liars. I am also a liar. It is something I ate. It is something you did, too.

VII.

As we get older do we continue up until we are dead

to cling to memories and fantasies? Do we ever truly live

in the moment or for it? is it not the chase?

Do memories become anew the longer we think of them?

Do they become better or more romanticized?

We can really get caught up in today’s trouble of technology

allowing us to escape reality

but we can’t just blame it on that

we are always trying to escape

with or without it

anything to have us away from the real of today

memories and fantasies often omit this pain

don’t they?

it’s so addicting as any drug

This is why when we snap out of it

reality can really shock you into a state of hybridity

not knowing at all

which is real.

VIII.

in between two selfless trees

conversations of anger and patience

liking and disliking

we came to the conclusion,

“don’t ever take anyone’s word for anything.”

IX.

There is a way to be selfish for your own well-being while also not hurting others.

V.

Tokyo day one:

I wandered your dark, snowy streets

alone trying to find a connection

that the books and films would portray

but within your calm white snow

I found a type of beauty

that gave me enough hope

to continue the night aimless.

The amber lights staggered throughout

coffee shops, convenience stores, and bars

wrestled with my emotions

the void of conversations

angered me

because I never pictured Tokyo this way

I walked miles without calling a cab that day

because if I went straight to my hotel

I might’ve done something stupid

but after stopping by a number of bars

I exhausted those thoughts.

At one specific bar a local told me

I looked like a specific Mexican soccer player

and that made my Mexican blood proud

and it was enough to warm my cold heart

I left and got to the hotel

and finished with a pint of Orion beer

coupled with a Marlboro Red

Tokyo Day Two.

How sad that concert was. A group of fans like me making subtle movements to signal any aliveness. I sort of wished the concert was outside in the snow. That would’ve allowed me to hold the Japanese woman’s hand for warmth. But it wasn’t, and I still believe that concert to be the most terrific I’ve ever attended. I have never felt so comfortable in my skin with others.