Two souls met in this lifetime

one made of fire and the other of water

one with a flame to love and protect

and the other with calm waves to ease the turbulence on life

These two souls danced in another life

in a room full of flowers and candles and a gentle breeze

but in this life these souls wrestled

in a room full of pride and misunderstandings

and displaced projections

what one thought of love and respect

the other thought of mishandled connections.

What one thought of building a life

the other thought of broken foundations.

What one thought of trust

the other thought of betrayal

inside one’s home but come to find out it was worse

out in the real world. What both thought of love

both yearned for and reached deep within each other for it

but you can search for love all you want

in a person

in a bar

in any substance

at a bookstore

in a different state

in a different country

in anything but you won’t find it. We have all had this raw gut feeling

when searching that we no longer know what we are searching for

and we become nomads. Then, the chatter inside the head battles

the heart’s cardinal rule

that love has always been within one’s self.

Here, these two souls discover

that the taste of disrespect

and the flame of love that was extinguished

led to a battle within. Countless years of feeding ourselves’ lies, criticism,

pity, sorrow, hate, shame- you name it. This pain

and hurt doesn’t get thrown in the sea to wash away.

No.

Think of the oldest memory of you…

remember them? Innocent and curious.

They still exist in you.

They are in a fetal position

within your heart

enduring, yet never giving up on you

Do you get me?

The longer you don’t confront your shadow the longer you will live in suppressed hurt

You have been waiting for your love, yet you go and find it out in places

where it just doesn’t exist.

Love is within.

The love you’ve always wanted

is within.

It is you

and it’ll burn any wall that anyone ever tries to hide behind