Sometimes I know exactly what it is

To the point that I can remember

The exact memory of the day

The feeling that morning 

Like something just wasn’t right 

You came home drunk 

You loved the night life 

I did too

But never in a relationship 

You in bed recovering

While I’m in the kitchen 

The tv playing a premier league game 

Feeding the dogs

Then I hear a buzz 

Then I see it’s your Apple Watch

The one I gifted you 

A message from a number I don’t know 

My heart and hands tremble 

I take your phone 

I look through and find enough 

I’m scared to look further 

I felt like a bitch 

I felt like I betrayed myself 

I felt my heart shatter and to this day

There are pieces that were left 

In that same floor of that same morning 

In that same memory 

In that same closet that’s locked up 

But sometimes I don’t know what it is 

That’s wrong with me 

Because there are so many of these

Memories 

That I’ve left buried 

D

E

E

P

D

E

E

P

D

O

W

N

This

dark place

my heart

resides in.