how long its been since my fingertips have touched a keyboard
how badly ive strayed from myself
i know longer remember what i used to look up to
or for what
or why i never thought about life so constraining
i feel so trapped in this everyday loop
trying to ignite a love life
trying to tell myself that this career path is good enough
barely making ends meet
seeing my dog get old
seeing my parents grow old
regretting all my past
comparing to an old life
comparing to others
its impossible not to
its why we cant find any gratitude in life
only when i escape
as i always tend to
does this storm calm
another drink
another inhale of nicotine
and when life isn’t so turbulent
all the flower this vessel can take.
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