This overwhelming angst and regret

Every step I’m taking

Is hesitant from years of betrayal

From years of mistakes

From years of choosing the wrong people

From years of being reckless

When you forget what wound

Is the one causing todays anxiety and fear

The mind gets fogged

And our inner child goes back to its

Fetal position in desperate need of love

And we search but always in the wrong places

Maybe a beer will help

Maybe some flower

How about sex

How about self neglect

How about calling off work

And staying in bed all day

How do I get to you that so desperately

Needs me

How can we tell ourselves it’s gonna be ok

How do I stop playing God?

How do I surrender when I worked so damn hard in my life

How do I stop these addictions

I feel an immense pressure

The fear of living because I’m so unstable

I know so much but apply nothing in my life

Can anyone understand me?

I wish I was a child again

I wish I could see the world innocently again

I feel so alone.

Where are you, God?