It’s a contradiction 

For life to reach an equilibrium 

because we can lose ourselves 

all the while looking for it

have you ever been in a place where

you don’t want to walk

this life anymore 

Mixed with a deep desire to live

this precious life fully

Never in between 

Always one or the other

And is this what they always meant 

The artists 

The philosophers 

The disciples 

When they tried explaining 

Tried writing us books 

Many illustrating, then leaving

this world. Screaming 

How the more you know

The more you feel 

That the more you hurt 

The more you’ll love 

That the more your present 

The more you leave behind 

We all know exactly what it is 

We must do

But we never unlock that door 

We try all other doors 

We tell ourselves 

It can’t possibly

be the first door I guessed

That’d be too easy 

And what is that 

Who is that 

And why do we all hear this voice

How can I relate so much to the old 

How can I 

Relate to those who have left

the world

And how can’t I 

Seem to relate to anyone at all 

Why am I here 

If all I feel is suffering 

Why do I see it in everyone’s face

Especially those I love

I do whatever it takes

to make them happy

And it’s why

Money 

Fame 

Status 

Have never been my goals

A genuine heart never regrets 

Not even when backstabbed 

No 

Especially not then 

It’s like watching 

A child drowning 

How can you watch 

If you know you could help

Why are you worried 

Of getting soaked 

When there’s a precious life 

Fading out 

But what about my life 

What about my soul 

Why don’t we care enough

for ourselves

I can’t stop ranting on this theme

I don’t understand how we can all 

Just not say anything 

So much showcasing 

So many masks

I’m tired of all the hate 

All this phoniness 

I never know what point

I am trying to make 

But I do know this

We all have this well inside us 

The quicker we admit it 

The quicker we will

all stop 

Bleeding on each other

Equilibrium doesn’t mean peace. 

It is the beginning of seeking

or finding it.

Always a mixture

Of light and dark

Of blue and pink-

ying and yang

Why does it take us so long
to learn how to live the life we want
How to take care of ourselves
How to love ourselves
How to stop searching outwards
As if answers are just going

to simply land on our lap

I think it feels like hell
Awakening early in life
When God forces us to be alone
And we lose so many people
And it’s impossible to explain
to someone, to loved ones to anyone
Why we can’t seem to work the jobs
We used to enjoy
Or do the the things we used to love to do at some point I used to crave what the homeless do
And that understanding
Only a few will reach But how privileged I feel
To walk the path
chosen to us all